she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
third nipple confirmed
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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