The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
