just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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