First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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