Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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