Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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