It's Friday. Sex?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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