im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
someone owes me an orgasm
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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