I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
