remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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