i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He felt like a one man threesome
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Randomize
