I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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