I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
two words...techno handjob
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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