I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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