they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
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What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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