can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
