You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
