I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
