Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
In America we eat man semen.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
