somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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