you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize