There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
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