WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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