I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
