You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
