YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Im part way to drunk.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
