ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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