the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
