She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize