it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Randomize
