And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
