Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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