i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
