fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
