i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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