Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Vodka?
Forever.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize