Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
