Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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