We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
