At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We had to coat check the pizza.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
