i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
