That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Are we still banned from the library?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
