I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
