shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
