youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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