Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
