Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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