i don't like sucking hair
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
