Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
