Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
