Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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