Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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