literally had 100 drinks last night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
