I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
