And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
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Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
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Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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