I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
