Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
