9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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