Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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