are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
