dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
