I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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