i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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