wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
