Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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