the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
