Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize