Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
